divorce help Archives - Child-Centered Divorce

Overcome Holiday Depression During and A...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Separated or divorced? Thanksgiving, Christmas – most any holiday -- can be depressing. Or bring up painful memories of happier times, especially if you have children. So, what can you do? Keep in mind that with the pain comes a choice. You can choose to acknowledge the past for what it was. You can value the good times you might have had together. Then you can choose to move on and let go. Yes, that’s never easy. But it is worth the effort. Because otherwise you’re likely to get stuck tormenting yourself with all the "shoulds." We should still be a family today. He should be ashamed of what he's doing to us. She shouldn’t be able to have the kids on Christmas Day. I should be over this by now. It should be easier for me to move on – why isn’t it? You get

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing

Parenting After Divorce

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You Want Your Kids To Be

By Rosalind Sedacca I recently came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” Basically that’s the best advice anyone can give any parent. It’s especially relevant when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. It’s estimated that 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all children or all families. That’s why it’s so important for parents facing divorce to understand that every decision you make has consequences that affect your children as well as your own well-being for years and decades to come. As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’ve found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don’t understand that emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years

Child-Centered Divorce

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? Find the “Silver Lining” and You Will Flourish!

Find the reward in your divorce experience. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma, like a divorce, it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event we would not become the more resilient, more successful person we are today. Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from the experience – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say the lesson was tough, but they don’t regret it in the least. I believe divorce can be looked upon as one

Child-Centered Divorce

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Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With Anxiety And Guilt

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children are affected by divorce Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

Child-Centered Divorce

What is International Child-Centered Divorce Month? ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, video programs, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorcing and divorced or separated parents throughout January. What is the purpose of ICCD Month? More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I chose January to commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month every year. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that

Child-Centered Divorce

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Your Kids Adapt & Heal!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC parenting after divorce Back to school time is always stressful for families. However, returning to school after their parents have separated or divorced can be especially difficult for any child. As a parent, you can ease the transition, by making the school your ally. This will open the door to the many resources available to you through the school. The key here is in forming a cooperative relationship with key personnel. Making your child’s teachers aware of your divorce and related changes in your home environment and scheduling will be helpful both for them and your child. That’s because school is really a second home for children in our culture. Regardless of their age, children can’t be expected to turn off their emotions during or after a divorce any more than their parents can. Fear, insecurity, shame, guilt and other emotions are usually triggered

Child-Centered Divorce

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Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Help You Move On!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a brighter future. Boost your self-esteem. One of the most damaging effects of divorce can be a toll on your self-esteem, especially if you were

Relationship Advice

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in the same school and remaining in the same

Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I was quite impressed with an on-line video course created especially for divorcing and divorced or separated parents. Its child-centered approach and message aligns well with the teachings of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. The program is titled, Two Families Now. The Two Families Now parenting class helps parents lower their stress level and protect children from conflict during the family transition process. The class increases parents' knowledge and awareness of divorce-related factors that affect children. It also helps parents build new skills that will access critically needed social support to help buffer the impact of divorce on your children. As a parent you want to raise children with a healthy sense of self-worth. You want children who are trusting and trust-worthy -- who are open to creating loving relationships in their lives. I firmly believe it’s not divorce per se that emotionally scars children. It’s how

Child-Centered Divorce

Overcome Holiday Depression During and A...

Co-Parenting After Divorce Depends On Sm...

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You...

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? Find

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With A...

Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Month...

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Yo...

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Hel...

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce...

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Ef...

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