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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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Teens Taking Sides A Painful Consequence...

Teens Taking Sides A Painful Consequence of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I received the following question which poses many challenges related to divorce and parenting. While there is never a one-size-fits-all answer to relationship questions, I’m sharing my response with you as a perspective worth considering. This may be useful to initiate conversations with your former spouse and children or for discussion with a therapist or divorce coach if you are seeing one. "I am divorced for a short while, after being separated for several years. My 16-year-old daughter is awful to me and she yells "I hate you" and even curses at me even in public. I am sure she blames me for leaving her mom, but my other two children (boys, one older and one younger) seem to be dealing with the divorce fine. My problem is that I have no control over discipline. I would never speak to anyone the way she speaks to

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Protecting Children of Divorce From the ...

Protecting Children of Divorce From the Emotional Damage of  Parental Alienation!
Children are affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation. PA is a persistent and very complex set of behaviors designed to break the bond between the targeted parent and their children. Most significant is that the behavior usually feels totally justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that your innocent children are caught in the middle. Often they are quite upset and confused about being told disrespectful things about their other parent. Not only is this hurtful for them, the reaction can cause havoc in the family. Alienated children

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Parental Conflict After Divorce: Don’t B

Parental Conflict After Divorce: Don’t Blame the Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of their children. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation which is a serious and very complex set of behaviors that feel justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that children get caught in the middle. Too often they are confused by being told disrespectful things about their other parent. These children easily learn to manipulate both parents in ways that are destructive for the child’s socialization and ultimate well-being. When any parental disagreements reach into your children’s lives, you are treading in dangerous territory with long-lasting consequences. How you handle the situation could play a crucial role in determining

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Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t

Parental Alienation After Divorce: Don’t Let Your Kids Pay The Price!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC April 25 is Parental Alienation Day -- a time to reflect on how you are influencing your children regarding your divorce. Parental Alienation is the darkest, most damaging consequence of divorce done wrong. It's impact can last a lifetime -- and it can boomerang on you in the years to come. Some thoughts on Parental Alienation, especially for the alienated parent ... Divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. And too often parents tend to vent or share this anger about the other parent with one or more of the children involved. The results can be devastating – not only for the “target” parent, but for the children, as well. This is just one form of parental alienation which is a serious and very complex set of behaviors which often feel justified by the alienating parent. The problem is that children get caught in the middle,

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Be Alert to Signs of Parental Alienation...

Be Alert to Signs of Parental Alienation After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT April 25th is the annual recognition of Parental Alienation Awareness Day. It is a time for all divorced parents to reflect on their relationship with their former spouse and how it may be subtly or overtly affecting the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. Often we rationalize our actions and decisions regarding our Ex as justified but don't focus on how it impacts our innocent children who usually are quite attached to getting love and support from both parents. One behavior commonly overlooked as a very hurtful aspect of Parental Alienation involves one parent keeping the other, target parent, from contact with the children – as punishment. Threatening To Keep Your Ex From the Kids Divorced parents can quickly learn ways to abuse their power over the other parent by using the children as a lever. Among the most harmful of these types of manipulations

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What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You t...

What To Do When Your Ex Bad-Mouths You to Your Kids
By Sandra Beck Many of us in high-conflict parenting relationships find ourselves the butt of jokes, the victim of malicious half-true and down-right untrue gossip spread by our Ex or their partner, and being the topic of “heart-to-heart” conversations with your ex and your children filled with carefully crafted stories intended to alienate your children from you. Sometimes it works. Sometimes your kids come home and say things like, “Mom, is it true that when you were in your 20s you smoked pot? Dad said you did and he said his current wife never did that?” or they say, “Hey Mom, Dad says you lie in court. Dad says you lie to the police. Dad said you lie to his friends.” The hard thing is not reacting. You want to knock some sense into the thick-skulled Ex for not understanding his or her need to punish, retaliate, control or whatever

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Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Change...

Parental Conflict Alienates/Hurts/Changes Children of Divorce Long Term
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT In a newsletter from Dr. Mark Goulston I read that: “A majority of teenagers, when asked if they had the choice between their parents being nicer to them or more loving towards each other, will pick the latter. The animosity between parents is very painful to their children.” Stop and think about that for a moment. Teenagers would sacrifice receiving more  love from their parents if they could assure their parents got along better with one another. This reinforces what most mental health professionals have long known: Parental conflict is a source of continual pain for our children – whether the parents are married or divorced! As a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents, my goal is to make sure both parents fully understand the impact of parental discord upon your children. That’s why I ask every client: Do

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Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Pa...

Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Parents Alienated After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children can easily and subtly be influenced by both parents during and after divorce. Sometimes the influence is intentional. Other times parents may not be aware of how they are manipulating their children’s affection and allegiance toward themselves and away from their other parent. Either way, the damage for children can be significant, especially in regards to maintaining a loving connection with both parents when the divorce is over. Here’s some sound advice for parents who feel targeted for alienation and want to re-establish or keep a healthy parent-child relationship: • Keep in contact with your children in every possible way. Use video, texts, email and other technology to stay in touch, even on the most basic level. • Maintain your personal power regarding scheduling activities and contact with the children. Don’t passively enable your kids or your ex to dictate terms and conditions. • Create

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