No doubt about it, this time of year can be much more stressful and complicated for families coping with divorce or separation issues. It can be especially tough and depressing for your children.
While the challenges for everyone in the family may be enormous, remember: you’re certainly not alone.
Whether you’re coping with loneliness without the children for the first time … overwhelming scheduling problems … questions about integrating in-laws and other family into your post-divorce holiday plans … sad or angry children … battles with your ex … or more … there are others in our community dealing with similar issues.
Let’s reach out and support one another – and share our best advice for getting through this season as whole and centered as possible.
On this blog I invite you to ask questions. Provide suggestions.
What are your greatest challenges this Holiday Season?
We can help! I look forward to seeing you there.
Sincere best wishes to you all!
Rosalind Sedacca
The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce
PS: I also encourage you to visit me on Facebook at the Child-Centered Divorce Network. At Facebook.com search for Child-Centered Divorce. Then LIKE the page, and share your comments there as well!
PPS: Need some professional help? Click on the COACHING button at //www.childcentereddivorce.com and check out my three new options!
My divorce is not final yet (after 2 difficult and expensive years!) but my kids (11 and 14)love the woman I am seeing. My soon to be ex-wife, however, is relly putting up a stink about the kids being with us and recently told my 14 year old that she was not welcome at home if she celebrated Thanksgiving with her Dad. I don’t think it was inappropriate to have the child with us for this meal. How is this best handled?
Most important in this regard is keeping your daughter out of the disagreement between you and her mother. This involves the communication skill of “listening.” Talk to your ex without putting her on the defensive and hear her side of the issue. What is she really upset about — and why?
Then you can share your perspective. Be mindful that in many parenting issues there isn’t just one right or wrong answer. Try to acknowledge the points she’s making — and then ask her to listen to your own.
Come to some agreements for future times when you’ll be interacting with your daughter. Decide whether your new “partner” has a place in your daughter’s life. Respect the agreements and discuss re-addressing these issues in a few weeks or months.
You’ll be needing these skills for years to come so start honing them now. You’ll all be better for it!
Whilst it is understandable that those who have recently been through a divorce will find Christmas difficult, they must try hard to put their differences to one side. This will not only allow their children to enjoy the festive season but will also help them enjoy it as well.
Appreciate your advice. While it isn’t always easy, putting your differences aside on behalf of your children is a reflection of mature, loving parenting. Give your kids the holidays they deserve!