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Posts in category Child-Centered Divorce

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce? F...

Is There a “Gift” in Your Divorce?  Find the “Silver Lining” and You Will Flourish!
[caption id="attachment_3353" align="alignleft" width="300"] Find the reward in your divorce experience.[/caption] By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When we are in the midst of life trauma, like a divorce, it is very difficult to experience anything but the pain, disappointment, hurt and anguish related to that experience. That’s only natural. But very often, in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of those major life challenges. Without that life-altering event we would not become the more resilient, more successful person we are today. Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from the experience – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say the lesson was tough, but they don’t regret it in the least. I believe divorce can be looked upon as one

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Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping Wit...

Divorced Parents: Keys For Coping With Anxiety And Guilt
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC [caption id="attachment_2666" align="alignleft" width="300"] Children are affected by divorce[/caption] Not surprisingly, guilt is often an integral part of the equation for parents coping with divorce. No parent wants their child to have to go through the turmoil of a parental divorce or separation. This is especially true for the parent initiating the divorce. Sometimes the internal battle over whether to move ahead with the divorce can go on for years before the final decision is made. Complicating matters is the anxiety connected to breaking the divorce news to children and fear of the consequences for each child. Often, parents don’t want to discuss the divorce after the initial conversation. It brings up anxiety about what our children will be saying and reluctance to hear feedback that will produce sadness, anger or guilt in us. In addition, it may also be difficult to listen to negative comments

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Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Mo...

Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Month in January:  An interview with Rosalind Sedacca
What is International Child-Centered Divorce Month? ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. [caption id="attachment_1973" align="alignleft" width="150"] January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month[/caption] In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, video programs, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorcing and divorced or separated parents throughout January. What is the purpose of ICCD Month? More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I chose January to commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month every year. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that

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Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Po...

Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor Parenting Choices Create All the Damage?
Rosalind Sedacca, CDC reveals the truth! [caption id="attachment_2886" align="alignleft" width="150"] Rosalind Sedacca, CDC[/caption] More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why January is recognized as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. This year is our 10th Anniversary commemoration. I initiated ICCD Month as a Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce.  Our goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. One of the most important questions I get asked by both clients and the media is: Does Divorce Really Scar Children?  My answer is NO! It’s how parents approach the divorce that does the damage. Parental Conflict is behind most of the Negative Effects On Our children. And that’s both good news and bad news. The good news:  Parents

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International Child-Centered Divorce ...

International Child-Centered Divorce Month Commemorates 10 Years  Helping Divorcing & Divorced Parents With Free Advice, Services & Other Resources!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC [caption id="attachment_1973" align="alignleft" width="150"] January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month[/caption] This year we commemorate the 10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder

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Finding the Best Divorce Attorney Whe...

Finding the Best Divorce Attorney When You’re a Divorcing Parent
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Choosing the best divorce lawyer for you is a major decision for anyone facing this life-altering reality. However, when you’re a parent, the decision is far more complex and significant. In our culture divorce is looked upon as a legal battle between two parties with opposing sides. Legal battles are about “winning,” which means all effort goes toward not “losing.” Sadly, parental divorce is more than the dissolution of a marital contract. It’s a highly emotional experience that deeply affects everyone in the family. Not all divorce attorneys approach divorce in the same manner. When you’re a parent you must not only protect yourself and your financial interests, but your children as well. If you hire a divorce litigator, whose primary focus is “winning” through the courts, you are exposing yourself and your children to lengthy periods of stress, heightened conflict and the loss of power

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Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Ma...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Make It Work
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. But for parents, it is just the beginning of an even greater challenge: co-parenting your children together. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I acknowledge all parents who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. You care deeply about your children and cooperative co-parenting is the way to raise them in the least-disruptive possible manner. The key word here is COOPERATION. Not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples, sadly, it should not even be attempted. Which is why those couples who are determined to co-parent – and choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children – certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed

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Back to School After Divorce: Helping...

Back to School After Divorce: Helping Your Kids Adapt & Heal!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC [caption id="attachment_2842" align="alignleft" width="272"] parenting after divorce[/caption] Back to school time is always stressful for families. However, returning to school after their parents have separated or divorced can be especially difficult for any child. As a parent, you can ease the transition, by making the school your ally. This will open the door to the many resources available to you through the school. The key here is in forming a cooperative relationship with key personnel. Making your child’s teachers aware of your divorce and related changes in your home environment and scheduling will be helpful both for them and your child. That’s because school is really a second home for children in our culture. Regardless of their age, children can’t be expected to turn off their emotions during or after a divorce any more than their parents can. Fear, insecurity, shame, guilt and other emotions are usually triggered

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Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For...

Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For the Sake of the Kids – Or Divorce?
An Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I understand you are a child of parents who stayed in a bad marriage rather than getting a divorce. What was that like? My childhood was not a happy one. My parents were good people caught in a bad relationship. They fought continuously. I remember hearing them fighting while I was in bed. I felt helpless to fix the problem. My parents made all the mistakes that divorced parents can make and I ending up hurt in the same ways as children of divorce done wrong. You say there are emotional and psychological scars for children when parents stay together in a toxic marriage. Tell us about that. Children feel the tension, the anger and often they blame themselves thinking if only I got better grades or cleaned up my room, maybe mom and dad would stop fighting. They feel insecure and walk on

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When Children of Divorce Act Out – Ca...

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!
By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you, or your spouse, are being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is

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