Facing Separation or Divorce?
 
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On these pages you'll find …

  • Tips on Parenting during and after Divorce
  • Divorce support, advice & strategies for parents
  • Parenting resources, coaching & teleclasses!
We're here for you & your children
before, during & after divorce!


Meet Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Rosalind Sedacca is recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce. She is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents. Rosalind is also the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! This internationally acclaimed ebook provides an innovative new approach to breaking the divorce news to your children and setting the stage for positive parenting ahead. Rosalind also provides Personal Coaching services, via phone or Skype, on all facets of divorce and parenting issues. Her Mastering Child-Centered Divorce 10-hr Audio Coaching Program with Workbook provides valuable insights, tips and advice on co-parenting successfully on behalf of the children you love! Rosalind’s helpful resources throughout this website will help you create the best possible outcome for your family in the months, years and decades to come.
Experts Endorse Rosalind's Book …

"Rosalind's book is unique in that it offers parents an innovative approach to having that difficult and usually dreaded initial conversation with their children and making it as positive and supportive as possible. A parent contemplating a divorce would be well served by reading this valuable book."

Raoul Felder,
Celebrity Divorce Attorney

"Rosalind's brilliant book's non-judgmental, compassionate and no-nonsense approach will resonate with all divorcing parents – even those with the most challenging relationships. It is a critical piece of the divorce puzzle, and a must read!"

Cynthia Tiano, Esq.

"I highly recommend this as more than a book, but a tool to assist children to more successfully navigate the disorientation and maze that comes as part of divorce."

C. Paul Wanio, Ph.D., LMFT, LMHC

"This hands-on interactive storybook is a must for all parents going through a divorce. It is a step-by-step guide for appropriately including children in the process. No parent should leave their home without it!"

Sally Goldberg, PhD
Center for Successful Children

"Rosalind Sedacca has invaluable information to share with divorcing parents. There is no other book a couple needs to help them with the most difficult conversation a parent can have with a child, that their parents are getting divorced. You are VERY lucky to have found my partner in the peaceful divorce movement."

Belinda Rachman, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has just improved the lives of countless children. I have practiced divorce law for 44 years and will attest to the importance of how children are introduced to their parents' divorce. How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? gives us something simple and sound to rely upon. There is absolutely no downside to Rosalind's storybook concept. It's all good and it beats anything else that I've come across. In fact, it's great and it is definitely something that the world has needed. The book is a winner and it is also a lifesaver."

J. Richard Kulerski, Esq

"Rosalind Sedacca has made a monumental contribution to self-help resources in an area that affects the lives of millions of men, women and children. After 32 years of counseling people in various stages of uncoupling, I can testify to the urgent need of a "how to" guide for people contemplating divorce. This book offers them a "life preserver." I have already referred my patients to this material and have received great feedback. I cannot recommend this book highly enough."

Beverly Gibel, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

"Rosalind Sedacca's 'How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE?' is a much needed breakthrough in the emotional minefield that parents traverse when they prepare their children for an impending divorce. The template, storybook strategy sends sensitive, kind, loving and safe messages which every child needs as they prepare for the scary unknown. I recommend her book for everyone who has children and is contemplating divorce."

Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical & Forensic Psychologist, LCSW, ACSW, BCD

postheadericon Parents: can you let go of grudges after divorce?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

 “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Gandhi

Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth.  Holding grudges and resentments have been proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional well-being – not to mention the psychological effects on your children.  Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future – and protect your children from toxic parenting.

It is not uncommon to resent your ex or other people closest to you because they have often done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse.  However, resentment comes at a big cost to you.

When you can’t let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you growing to envelope your whole life and all of your thoughts.  Resentments make it difficult to enjoy your present life.  They define who you are and how you act.  Grudges are like mental poison that doesn’t hurt anyone else, but you.  When you hold on to a grudge, it makes you bitter, which depletes you of your strength and reduces your overall well-being.

Resentment also colors your parenting and models for your children behavior that is often irresponsible, immature and self-defeating. Is that what you want them to learn?

Here are some common behaviors that indicate you may be holding on to a grudge:

Passive-aggressive behavior: While often very subtle, this behavior is focused on getting back at the person you are angry at through indirect means. Holding back necessary information, tense silences, or saying there’s nothing wrong when obviously you are really angry are typical indicators of passive aggressive manipulation.

Sarcastic remarks:  These remarks indicate there is still strong emotion behind what you’re thinking, even though you may be saying you’re “just kidding.”

Short, abrupt comments: Comments of this nature suggest your intolerance and annoyance. They usually are delivered with a certain intonation in your voice.

Below are some questions to ask yourself for insights about your own behavior:

  1. Do you still want to get back at your spouse?
  2. To what extent will you do things to annoy him/her?
  3. Do you generally tend to hold on to grudges/resentments? For how long?
  4. Can you let them go? Can you find some benefits for freeing yourself from anger and resentment?

If you are besieged with intrusive thoughts and feelings about your former spouse, telling you how right you are and how wrong they are, you are likely to be developing a grudge. These one-sided dialogues with yourself make it harder to work on developing a more forgiving attitude and ultimately letting go.

It is helpful to truly understand what forgiveness is and how it can be of value to YOU in determining whether this is a strategy to embrace in your life. Keep in mind that we forgive for us, not for the other person. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Don’t you deserve that gift?

*     *     *

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Divorce and Parenting Coach and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love!  Acclaimed by divorce professionals, the book provides fill-in-the-blank templates that guide parents in creating a family storybook with personal photographs as an ideal way to break the news. For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right!, her free ezine, articles, coaching services and other valuable resources visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca  All rights reserved.

 

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