Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Help You Move On!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a brighter future. Boost your self-esteem. One of the most damaging effects of divorce can be a toll on your self-esteem, especially if you were

Relationship Advice

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well For a Better Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging - or more aloof - depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again - despite the changes created by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private -

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford the REAL Price?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT You’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight! If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a choice you may long regret – at a price you can little afford! If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you will be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. It is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – including your children

Child-Centered Divorce

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How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce — and Why It’s So Crucial!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private – at times when others are not around.

Parenting After Divorce

Family Photos Vitally Important for Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed all

Parenting After Divorce

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What To Do When Your Kids Resist Divorce Visitations With Dad

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem and understand the reasons why your children are resisting contact with their Dad. Are they feeling guilty or disloyal when leaving your presence? This can easily influence their feelings toward spending time with their Dad. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their Dad? Do they hear you complain about him to family or friends? Are they being raised in an environment hostile towards Dad? Has Dad been mistreating them or disciplining them in a different way than you do? Is the contrast between you two dramatic or extreme? Are you

Parenting After Divorce

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5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Communication with our children is always important, but never as essential as when they are impacted by separation or divorce. Children are vulnerable and easily frightened by changes in their routines. The more you talk to and comfort them, the less stress and anxiety they’ll experience. This is the time to reassure your children that you are taking care of matters and everyone in the family will be okay. Then, of course, take responsibility for doing what needs to be done to assure their well-being. Here are five important ways you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children to help them thrive during and after your divorce. Strive to keep as much normalcy in your children’s lives as is feasible. Maintaining relationships with friends and neighbors provides a sense of stability and continuity. Keeping children in the same school and remaining in the same

Parenting After Divorce

Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by Divorce or Relationship Issues!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. For many, divorce is the perfect storm that triggers all our anger issues. When we’re parents and cannot manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the well-being of our children. Focusing our anger on our divorcing spouse can fuel the fire to dangerous levels for everyone involved. Anger is a feeling that alerts us that something is wrong. What we fail to understand is that we, as human beings, always have choices regarding how we act regarding those feelings. Acting before thinking can lead to mismanaged anger. Once we have reacted to anger, we have allowed our feelings to control us. This can lead to actions and behaviors we never would have taken if we

Parenting After Divorce

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Effective Parenting During Separation & Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I was quite impressed with an on-line video course created especially for divorcing and divorced or separated parents. Its child-centered approach and message aligns well with the teachings of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. The program is titled, Two Families Now. The Two Families Now parenting class helps parents lower their stress level and protect children from conflict during the family transition process. The class increases parents' knowledge and awareness of divorce-related factors that affect children. It also helps parents build new skills that will access critically needed social support to help buffer the impact of divorce on your children. As a parent you want to raise children with a healthy sense of self-worth. You want children who are trusting and trust-worthy -- who are open to creating loving relationships in their lives. I firmly believe it’s not divorce per se that emotionally scars children. It’s how

Child-Centered Divorce

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Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Hel...

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well ...

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford t...

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce —

Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

What To Do When Your Kids Resist Divorce...

5 Ways to Minimize the Impact of Divorce...

Managing Anger When You’re Triggered by

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Ef...

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