Do You Have an Anger Or Conflict Control...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CLC We all get angry when we believe we are being wronged, misunderstood or unjustly accused. It’s a natural reaction to circumstances that put us on the defensive. But when we cannot identify or manage our anger, it can take over our lives and affect the wellbeing of those close to us. When our anger is focused on our relationship partners or a divorcing spouse, it can reach dangerous levels – especially when there are children involved. If managing anger has been a challenge for you, it is important to recognize signs to watch out for in your behavior. By identifying “red flag” warnings in advance, before you explode out of control, you can learn healthier ways of expressing anger, frustration and other difficult feelings, which will make for more peaceful and rewarding life experiences. Anger management issues need to be addressed before they destroy your life

Child-Centered Divorce, Relationship Advice

Color Through Divorce: A Therapeutic Coloring Book to Help Mom & Child Through Separation & Divorce

The first weeks and months after a separation or divorce can be quite challenging. With so many emotions -- especially anger, sadness and fear -- fighting for your attention, it's a wonder you make it through your day. To complicate matters even more, not only are you worried about yourself but you are worried about your kids too. What will the effects of divorce be on my child? Will I be able to help my child through my divorce? Will their behavior and grades be affected? What do I say if they get sad or mad? What if I don't know what to say at all? These and many more questions are probably swirling around your head. They were swirling around my head when I faced my divorce and most every parent has the same concerns. Sara Woodard-Ortiz is no different. After finding out that her husband had been cheating

Child-Centered Divorce

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Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Better Protect Your Children

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a life-altering experience that takes its toll on your physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. Its ramifications not only turn your own world upside down, but can also seriously affect your innocent children – a dire consequence we all want to avoid. Since divorce is a process, often a lengthy one, there are days – yes, weeks and months – when life can seem awfully low. Often overbearing. The weight can seem just too much to carry. The many life changes related to divorce can play a part in these difficult circumstances. And when you’re a parent at the same time … well, you know how it feels! Just know, as well, that you’re not alone. Parenting is tough for everyone, even under the best of circumstances. Parenting through and beyond divorce takes enormous focus and a continuous need for compassion, both for yourself and

Child-Centered Divorce

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New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are You Protecting Your Children?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And while the divorce rate has gone down the past few years, because of the economy, January is still the month with the highest divorce rate. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are divorcing parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a

Parenting After Divorce

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. That’s why as parents we need to be diligent in monitoring our children as well as our own behavior to safeguard our kids from emotional and psychological damage. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Here are some essential behaviors to avoid during and after divorce to protect your children from the negative effects of conflict on their psyches. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Help You Move On!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT The aftermath of divorce can be a sense of self-discovery or internment in a self-made prison of depression and resentment. It’s all about our acceptance of what is and determination to use the divorce as a pathway to a new and better life. The good news: it’s all up to us. We can create an attitude of positive expectation or we can subjugate ourselves to months and years of self-pity and despair down the road. The bad news: it’s not always easy to change our attitude or perspective on life. But if you do, you’ll be rewarded with a happier future for yourself as well as your children. Here are some vital steps to embracing your divorce as a catalyst to a brighter future. Boost your self-esteem. One of the most damaging effects of divorce can be a toll on your self-esteem, especially if you were

Relationship Advice

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well For a Better Outcome!

By Rosalind Sedacca During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or anger. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging - or more aloof - depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again - despite the changes created by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private -

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford the REAL Price?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT You’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, vindictive or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out, to get back at your spouse or boost your own sense of esteem. Hiring the most aggressive litigious divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. Your ex is in for a fight! If you’re a parent who is thinking along those lines, you’re making a choice you may long regret – at a price you can little afford! If you choose a lawyer who directs you straight into a vicious court battle, the costs to you will be insurmountable – not only in financial outlay, but in emotional turmoil as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. It is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – including your children

Child-Centered Divorce

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How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce — and Why It’s So Crucial!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT During and after divorce your children may be hyper-sensitive about many things. What may have formerly been routine conversations, questions or activities can now be touchy subjects fraught with anxiety, resentment or ager. This is understandable when you consider that the stability of the world they knew has been dramatically altered. Minor insecurities can easily grow into major problems. Children may regress in their behaviors and skills, become more clinging – or more aloof – depending on their adaptability and perspective about the divorce. This is a time to master the art of good parent/child communication so you can reinforce or rebuild trust, security and confidence that things will be okay again – despite the changes inflicted by your divorce. Here are some solid tips for more effective communication with your children. Master them today and they will work on your behalf for years and years ahead. Keep your conversations private – at times when others are not around.

Parenting After Divorce

Family Photos Vitally Important for Children of Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She assumes that her mother hid or destroyed all

Parenting After Divorce

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Do You Have an Anger Or Conflict Control...

Color Through Divorce: A Therapeutic Col...

Parenting Yourself Through Divorce To Be...

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Divorced? 4 Valuable Life Lessons to Hel...

Divorce With Children: Communicate Well ...

Divorce Litigation: Can Parents Afford t...

How To Talk To Your Kids After Divorce —

Family Photos Vitally Important for Chil...

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