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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil ...

When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil the Kids
parenting after divorce can be challenging By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  It’s a common scenario. One divorced parent is spoiling the kids. Usually, they aren’t equally sharing parenting. So they  treat the children to lavish gifts, trips and other indulgences when spending time with the kids. Often the custodial parent may be struggling financially. Which infuriates that parent. In many cases it’s mom who finds herself in that position. However, not always. Either way, it’s a challenging dilemma to tackle. Smart parents know not to bad-mouth the spoiling parent to the kids. (They understand that put-downs will only backfire on them in the long run.) So custodial Mom (or Dad) is looking for suggestions on how to best handle this situation. Not surprisingly, there is often an underlying motive behind this kind of behavior. In many cases i t’s related to how frequently the other parent sees

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Make Effective Communication Top Priorit...

Make Effective Communication Top Priority For Co-Parenting Success
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sure, divorce may end a marriage. But when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues is crucially important. That’s because it will affect your children today and for years to come! Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing  Use one of the many co-parenting apps/tools to schedule co-parenting appointments. You can also keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is tension, animosity or conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails and texts record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present – not the past  Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand.

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Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your K...

Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict: Don’t Blame the Kids!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s all too common to find parents who rage about their ex after the divorce. This usually includes venting about the other parent’s parenting skills. The results can be devastating. We all know divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. But too often we forget the effects, not only on the “targeted” parent. Disrespectful words, actions and decisions take their toll on your innocent children! This becomes a form of parental alienation. PA is a serious and complex set of behaviors. They are designed to win the favor of one parent against the other. In most cases, that parent feels fully justified in their behaviors. They refuse to see or acknowledge the harm in the alienation. When kids get caught in the middle ... Of course, the biggest consequence is that the children get caught in the middle. They are often confused by hurtful and disrespectful

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When Children Of Divorce Resist Time Wit...

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time With Their Other Parent
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some pertinent questions to ask yourself to help you determine the source of the problem. And then understand why your children are resisting contact with their Mom or Dad. 1. Are you showing signs of depression or neediness? Have you been talking about missing your kids so much they are afraid to leave you? This creates a guilt mind-set in the home. Your kids take on the parenting role and feel guilty loving or wanting to be with their other parent. If this is the case, you are doing them an injustice and robbing them of the joys of having two parents to love. 2. Have they been privy to information, slurs or

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6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success ...

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge:  co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children. And you both want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the co-parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not appropriate to even attempt it. But other couples are determined to co-parent and choose cooperative options. They want to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children. They certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few

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5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parent...

5 Smart Steps To Maximize Your Co-Parenting Success!
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. 1)  Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept reality. Life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your

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6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

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Divorced Parents: Sharing Your Life Less...

Divorced Parents: Sharing Your Life Lessons Helps Your Children
Communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a divorced parent, what lessons and behaviors are you modeling for your children? Bad things can happen to good people. Divorce is a prime example.  Good people get divorced. Responsible people who are loving parents get caught in the decision to end a loveless or deceitful marriage. The messages you convey will influence your children into adulthood. Here’s valuable advice on leaving a positive imprint on your innocent children.  Making Choices With Awareness The consequences of how you handle your divorce can either be life affirming or destroying. It depends on how each parent approaches this transition. Parents who are blinded by blame and anger are not likely to learn much through the experience. They see their former spouse as the total problem in their life. Consequently, they are convinced that getting rid of that

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7 Keys To Boosting The Grandparent-Grand...

7 Keys To Boosting The Grandparent-Grandchild Bond After Divorce!
Grandparents - grandchildren - affected by divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorce takes place, everyone in the family is affected. Often the impact on grandparents is overlooked amidst the turmoil involving parents and children. The results can be devastating for grandparents who want to be supportive and also stay in the lives of the children they love. Grandparents frequently wonder, “How can I help and stay close to my grandkids when we are geographically separated?” Even more challenging, how do you cope as grandparents when the consequences of divorce may limit or end physical visits with the grandkids? You do that in two important ways: 1) Maintain and strengthen the relationship you already have through available technology. 2) Use empathy and your best communication skills with your adult child’s former spouse. Talking to your daughter or son-in-law … If appropriate, ask permission to continue the relationship

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