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8 Must-Do Co-Parenting Strategies for Di...

Divorced Parents: your children are watchintg! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children and want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course not all parents can share the parenting process in this way and for some couples it is not realistic to even attempt it. But those divorced parents who choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children, certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a

Parenting After Divorce

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Divorced Parents’ Biggest Mistakes To Avoid

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, we all make mistakes we regret. It’s part of the learning process. This is especially true for parents. But when we make mistakes as DIVORCED PARENTS, the impact can be even more lasting – and dramatic! So, here’s the bottom line: It’s far better to set the course straight today than to reap the consequences years from now when your adult children ask: Mom/Dad, what were you thinking? Of course, coping with the challenges of parenting after divorce or separation can be very frustrating and difficult. It takes enormous awareness and compassion. With that in mind, here are the most emotionally damaging mistakes that negatively impact children of divorce. Don’t be guilty of making these mistakes: Fighting around your children. Even if it’s on the phone or in another room, if they can hear you, it’s a source of pain, confusion and deep

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Is Tough – But Even Tougher On Teens!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce is tough on families. Everyone is affected, especially the children. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. There are many reasons why. Older children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times spent with one or both parents. Even if there were no good memories to look back upon, older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic. They knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in “what is.” Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For teenagers that resistance is compounded by a tendency to test boundaries and rock the status quo. Divorce or separation naturally makes all children feel powerless over their circumstances. For teens, who are more

Parenting After Divorce

When a Divorced Parent Abandons or Rejects the Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Following divorce, most parents are eager to see the children as frequently as possible. Often this desire results in heated battles in or out of court focused around custody issues. In many cases co-parenting is the ideal option. A parenting plan is set into place and the children are moved between two homes giving them continued access to both parents. While many parents may not want to “share” the children, they often realize this is in their child’s best interest. So they come up with an arrangement both parents can live with. In families that don’t co-parent, usually one parent has primary custody of the children. The other parent takes the reins on a scheduled basis. This regular visitation may be over weekends, specific days per month, or periodic visits during the year if distance is a factor. Parental Rejection: the saddest outcome of divorce! In

Parenting After Divorce

When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil the Kids

parenting after divorce can be challenging By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s a common scenario. One divorced parent is spoiling the kids. Usually, they aren’t equally sharing parenting. So they treat the children to lavish gifts, trips and other indulgences when spending time with the kids. Often the custodial parent may be struggling financially. Which infuriates that parent. In many cases it’s mom who finds herself in that position. However, not always. Either way, it’s a challenging dilemma to tackle. Smart parents know not to bad-mouth the spoiling parent to the kids. (They understand that put-downs will only backfire on them in the long run.) So custodial Mom (or Dad) is looking for suggestions on how to best handle this situation. Not surprisingly, there is often an underlying motive behind this kind of behavior. In many cases i t’s related to how frequently the other parent sees

Parenting After Divorce

Make Effective Communication Top Priority For Co-Parenting Success

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Sure, divorce may end a marriage. But when you’re a parent it doesn’t end the need for working together on behalf of your children. How you communicate with one another about parenting issues is crucially important. That’s because it will affect your children today and for years to come! Here are some tips on keeping communication with your Ex as effective as possible. Communicate in writing Use one of the many co-parenting apps/tools to schedule co-parenting appointments. You can also keep clear records of all conversations, notes, memos, and details. Avoid in-person or telephone talk if there is tension, animosity or conflict. Writing enables you to express yourself clearly and succinctly. Emails and texts record dates and time which can also be useful. Focus on the present – not the past Communication is not about re-hashing old wounds and arguments. Focus on the issues at hand.

Parenting After Divorce

Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your Kids!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

Parenting After Divorce

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict: Don’t Blame the Kids!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s all too common to find parents who rage about their ex after the divorce. This usually includes venting about the other parent’s parenting skills. The results can be devastating. We all know divorce conflicts between parents can get ugly. But too often we forget the effects, not only on the “targeted” parent. Disrespectful words, actions and decisions take their toll on your innocent children! This becomes a form of parental alienation. PA is a serious and complex set of behaviors. They are designed to win the favor of one parent against the other. In most cases, that parent feels fully justified in their behaviors. They refuse to see or acknowledge the harm in the alienation. When kids get caught in the middle ... Of course, the biggest consequence is that the children get caught in the middle. They are often confused by hurtful and disrespectful

Parenting After Divorce

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time With Their Other Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist visitation with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are some pertinent questions to ask yourself to help you determine the source of the problem. And then understand why your children are resisting contact with their Mom or Dad. 1. Are you showing signs of depression or neediness? Have you been talking about missing your kids so much they are afraid to leave you? This creates a guilt mind-set in the home. Your kids take on the parenting role and feel guilty loving or wanting to be with their other parent. If this is the case, you are doing them an injustice and robbing them of the joys of having two parents to love. 2. Have they been privy to information, slurs or

Parenting After Divorce

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC While moving through divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hats off to all of you who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. It means both of you care deeply about your children. And you both want to continue raising them in the least-disruptive possible manner. Of course, not all parents can share the co-parenting process in this way. For some couples it is not appropriate to even attempt it. But other couples are determined to co-parent and choose cooperative options. They want to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children. They certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed over with a few

Parenting After Divorce

8 Must-Do Co-Parenting Strategies for Di...

Divorced Parents’ Biggest Mistakes To Av

Divorce Is Tough – But Even Tougher On T

When a Divorced Parent Abandons or Rejec...

When One Divorced Parent Tries To Spoil ...

Make Effective Communication Top Priorit...

Bashing Your Ex Is Really Bad For Your K...

Parental Alienation and Divorce Conflict...

When Children Of Divorce Resist Time Wit...

6 Crucial Steps To Co-Parenting Success ...

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