By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

Sadly, in our nation and beyond, children are still being mistreated, neglected, and abused. In April, we recognize National Child-Abuse Prevention Month by raising awareness of how parents, professionals, and concerned parties can protect children from the lasting effects of adverse childhood experiences—especially those caused by a parent’s alcohol misuse.

For many families, divorce doesn’t end the challenges—it often marks the beginning of new ones, especially when one parent struggles with alcohol abuse. The consequences of this dynamic can lead to emotional harm, instability, and in some cases, overlooked forms of child abuse. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network has partnered with Soberlink this April. Together, we are committed to highlighting ways to make shared parenting safer, more secure, and less stressful for both parents and, most importantly, for the children caught in the middle.

Soberlink’s portable alcohol monitoring devices have become a vital resource for for parents navigating custody arrangements involving alcohol concerns. The system provides court-admissible proof of sobriety that is respected and trusted by family courts nationwide. For concerned co-parents, features like built-in facial recognition, tamper sensors, and instant results offer peace of mind during parenting time. For parents working to maintain custody or rebuild trust, it’s a powerful tool to demonstrate a commitment to sobriety and responsible parenting.

The accuracy, reliability, and user-friendly design of Soberlink make it especially valuable for parents voluntarily participating in alcohol monitoring. By choosing to use the system, they can clearly demonstrate their dedication to their child’s safety and well-being—helping to reassure the court, and their co-parent, in the process.

Unlike more punitive measures like random lab tests or ankle monitors—which can feel invasive and stigmatizing—Soberlink offers a discreet, scheduled testing experience. It promotes accountability without disrupting daily life, offering a more respectful and balanced approach to co-parenting when alcohol misuse is a concern.

The Child-Centered Divorce Network reminds parents about other ways to help families avoid abusive shared parenting mistakes:

  • Don’t ever ridicule or demean your former spouse in front of the kids. When you speak disrespectfully about your children’s other parent, kids are often hurt and riddled with guilt and confusion. Their thinking is, “If there’s something wrong with Dad or Mom, there must also be something wrong with me for loving them.” This can result in emotional distress while damaging your own relationship with your children, as well.
  • Don’t ever fight around the children. Studies show that conflict is what creates the most pain and turmoil for all children, especially victims of divorce. Keep parental battles away from your children – even when they’re sleeping or when you’re on the phone in another room. They deserve peace of mind and will thank you when they’re grown.
  • Don’t ever pressure children to choose between their parents. Most kids feel anxious, guilty, embarrassed, or simply afraid when put in that position, even when they know your intentions are benign. You can ask about their feelings, but don’t give them the responsibility of making final choices.
  • Don’t ever blame your kids for your divorce – or forget to tell them they are not at fault. Never assume your children understand that they are victims in your adult drama. Remind them frequently that they bear no blame in any way – even and especially if you are fighting with their other parent about them.
  • Don’t ever share information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates an emotional burden that children shouldn’t have to carry. Talk to adults about adult issues. Even older teens aren’t prepared to be your therapist or advisor.
  • Don’t ever use your children as confidants or spies. Never ask and expect your kids to tell you secrets about their other parent’s life and home. It makes them feel uncomfortable and puts enormous pressure on them. Don’t make your kids your allies in plots against their mom or dad. They’ll resent you for it. Equally important, never make them feel guilty for loving their other parent – ever!

Fortunately, you can reach out to therapists, divorce coaches, mediators, and other professionals to help if you’re not positive about how best to approach your children. If appropriate, encourage them to speak to a child psychologist trained in handling divorce issues. You can also seek the advice of school counselors, clergy, and other parenting professionals. Don’t forget the many valuable resources and articles on this topic available online as well as www.childcentereddivorce.com and www.soberlink.com/family-law.

Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on innocent psyches. Avoid the abusive mistakes addressed above and think before you speak. Focusing on both parent’s love for the children brings them comfort and security. It also gives parents a sound foundation on which to face the shared parenting challenges ahead.

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Rosalind Sedacca, CDC, is a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, author, and podcast host. For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, personal coaching services, e-courses, and other valuable resources for divorcing and divorced parents, visit https://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

You can learn more about Soberlink’s innovative and professionally acclaimed technology at https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law.