Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, my mission is to support parents and collaborate with divorce professionals in making the best decisions regarding the emotional and psychological effects of divorce on children. I’m a divorced parent as well as a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach. I’ve experienced all the insecurities, anger, fears and anxieties that come with divorce. Like you, my primary concern was minimizing any negative effects on my child — not only in the months ahead, but in the decades to follow, too. I learned a lot about mistakes to avoid, smart steps to take and skills to learn — which I want to share with you – all on behalf of the children you love! So you can make the best decisions every step of the way. Parents: Divorce Doesn't Have To Emotionally Scar Your Children I believe that it is not
FREE GIFTS & SUPPORT RESOURCES -- from divorce and parenting experts around the world commemorating the 16th Annual International Child-Centered Divorce Month In the U.S. today nearly 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. Even more significant, 60% of divorcing couples have children, resulting in more than one million kids each year experiencing the divorce of their parents. The consequence of parental divorce takes its toll on everyone in the family. An estimated 25 million children (36%) live apart from their biological father with about 26% of absentee fathers living in a different state than their kids. Close to 17 million children (25%) are living with their single mothers. It may come as no surprise that more divorces are initiated in January than in any other month. A large majority of parents wait until after the holiday season before breaking the divorce news to their children. For this
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Co-parenting during and after divorce is always challenging. But more and more couples are realizing divorce doesn’t have to be a toxic disaster for parents or children. Co-parents have options and choices worth exploring. You can create a peaceful, amicable Child-Centered Divorce and your children will thank you. Keys to a peaceful divorce Here are some vitally important tips for achieving the positive outcome you desire … Acknowledge, and then forgive, yourself for the role you played in the disappointment and dissolution of your marriage. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead identify the lessons you’ve learned and determine not to repeat former mistakes. Let go of the past and pick your battles moving forward. Life is too short to get stuck in old grievances. Forgiving your ex means cutting the cord to the pain. It’s the gift you give yourself so you can create a brighter future.
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The 15th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month is being recognized by divorce experts around the world. They will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, videos, Tip Sheets and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces are initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, I chose January to commemorate ICCD Month. I want alert parents about the harm to their
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anyone going through divorce knows it inevitably stirs up charged emotions -- some anticipated and others unexpected. And when children are involved, the process is exponentially more complex and challenging. One of the biggest battlegrounds revolve around child custody and child support. Fortunately, there are ways to get through it together. Marriages that end amicably are the healthiest for both the parents and the children. That’s why we encourage focusing on creating a Child-Centered Divorce. Dealing with highly charged emotions Betrayal, guilt, anger and shame can rear their ugly heads in a divorce, These feelings come with much pain and should never be ignored or taken lightly. However, your children are always innocent. Even if you’re fighting about the children, it’s never their fault. They should never bear the weight of problems that you and your spouse created
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is a highly emotional topic. When children are involved, the consequences are far more dramatic. And not surprisingly, so are our opinions. I know many people sincerely believe that no divorce is a good divorce. They argue that children are always harmed by the physical and emotional separation of their parents. Therefore, parents should – for the sake of the kids – just stick it out. They should not consider divorce until the children are grown. This is a particularly prevalent view for many adult children of divorce. Too often they have experienced the dramatic life changes that come with divorce. Many feel permanently scarred as a result. That response is certainly understandable. But it’s not the final word on this subject. I have another perspective. It’s based on the experience of being raised in
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting during and after divorce can be complex, frustrating and confusing. However, every day parents around the world cope with the challenges and raise happy, well-adjusted children. There are many factors that impact your effectiveness as a co-parent. Here are five that greatly influence your pre- and post-divorce co-parenting success. Monitor Your Attitude Attitude plays a crucial part in every facet of our lives. It’s especially important when we’re parenting after divorce. If you make a commitment to creating as positive an experience as possible, on behalf of the children you love, you are on your way to succeeding. What attitude are you conveying about your divorce? Try to catch your thoughts and the way you speak about it. Are you filled with negativity? Resentment? Fear? Are your days consumed with a “poor me” mindset? Are you attracting
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Picture this: you’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out at, or maybe get back at your soon to be former spouse. Hiring the most aggressive divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. You are gearing up for a fight! But stop. Think. If you are a parent, you may be making a choice you regret for a long time. If you choose a lawyer who directs you into a vicious court battle, the costs may be insurmountable. Not only the financial expenses, but the emotional costs as well. Keep Out Of The Courts Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. If you do, it's likely to take its toll on every member of your family – especially your children. And sadly, in the
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’m often asked “What are the secrets to successful co-parenting after divorce?” That’s the million-dollar question. And while there is no simple answer, I believe most professionals will agree the smartest strategy is learning how to co-parent respectfully. That means remove anger, hostility or vindictiveness from your interactions with your former spouse and learn how to share co-parenting as loving parents to your kids. Of course, that’s not always easy to do. But it is doable. Learning to master effective communication skills, showing empathy and finding areas of agreement whenever possible go a long way towards diffusing tensions and cooperating as parents. The benefits you derive can be substantial. They will more than make up for the ego gratification you get when holding on to those damaging emotions. Remember, your goal is not to re-establish your adult relationship. It’s to
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Many families time their separation or divorce for the summer months to take advantage of the school break. But for many other families the divorce decision comes in the midst of the school year. January is one of the most common months to start the process. There are several reasons why this sometimes becomes a necessity. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Still others are faced with unexpected circumstances that accelerate the decision to divorce. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are we as parents going to approach this separation
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