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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

International Child-Centered Divorce Month Commemorates 10 Years  Helping Divorcing & Divorced Parents With Free Advice, Services & Other Resources!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month This year we commemorate the 10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder

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Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Fa...

Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Family – Hers, Mine and the Exes
  My soon-to-be second wife and I are raising four children. With our wedding date quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to have a successful blended family, and how we deal with our exes for the good of our children. Out of the Mouths of Babes It’s 3:00 AM and I can’t sleep. I keep hearing the voices of our kids, over and over in my head. “Mommy is going to be mad if we stay up late.” “My dad lets me watch that show.” “She’s not our sister!” “I don’t want to come to the wedding.” That last one stings. We have four parents in this equation. All with different views on what’s best for our children. It can be stressful. It can be annoying. Ultimately our success is not judged by our personal comfort, but by the experience of our children. Here are some

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Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Make ...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Make It Work
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. But for parents, it is just the beginning of an even greater challenge: co-parenting your children together. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I acknowledge all parents who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. You care deeply about your children and cooperative co-parenting is the way to raise them in the least-disruptive possible manner. The key word here is COOPERATION. Not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples, sadly, it should not even be attempted. Which is why those couples who are determined to co-parent – and choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children – certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed

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Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For th...

Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For the Sake of the Kids – Or Divorce?
An Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I understand you are a child of parents who stayed in a bad marriage rather than getting a divorce. What was that like? My childhood was not a happy one. My parents were good people caught in a bad relationship. They fought continuously. I remember hearing them fighting while I was in bed. I felt helpless to fix the problem. My parents made all the mistakes that divorced parents can make and I ending up hurt in the same ways as children of divorce done wrong. You say there are emotional and psychological scars for children when parents stay together in a toxic marriage. Tell us about that. Children feel the tension, the anger and often they blame themselves thinking if only I got better grades or cleaned up my room, maybe mom and dad would stop fighting. They feel insecure and walk on

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After Divorce: Choose Pro-Active vs. ReA...

After Divorce: Choose Pro-Active vs. ReActive Parenting
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Parenting is never easy. The challenges are enormous. Decisions are rarely black and white. How much should you indulge your children? When do you step in on sibling or friend-related battles? How much can you trust other parents watching your child for sleepovers and play dates? How tolerant should you be regarding food and eating issues? When should you step in with discipline? When are you crossing the line with punishment? The questions and decisions are infinite, emotionally challenging and hard to resolve. All of this is life as usual for parents in a traditional marriage. When you add the component of divorce to the mix, the waters are considerably more muddied. And many divorced parents find themselves in the position of questioning their true motives when faced with parenting decisions. What about you? Are your behaviors influenced by your feelings about your former spouse? Are

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When Children of Divorce Act Out – Carin

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!
By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you, or your spouse, are being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is

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Creating a Child-Centered Divorce: A Wak...

Creating a Child-Centered Divorce: A Wakeup Call for Parents!
Picture this: you’re getting divorced and you’re angry, resentful, hurt, or any combination of other painful emotions. You want to lash out at, or maybe get back at your soon to be former spouse. Hiring the most aggressive divorce lawyer you can find seems like your smartest choice. You are gearing up for a fight! But stop. Think. If you are a parent, you may be making a choice you regret for a long time. If you choose a lawyer who directs you into a vicious court battle, the costs may be insurmountable – not only the financial expenses, but the emotional costs as well. Think long and hard before you move your divorce battle into the legal system. If you do that it is likely to take its toll on every member of your family – especially your children – in the most destructive and gut-wrenching ways. It happens

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Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must...

Should You Divorce or Stay? Parents Must Put Kids First Either Way!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CLC Stay together for the sake of the kids? Generations of miserable parents followed that advice hoping their sacrifices would pay off for their children in the end. Many still believe that’s the only option for parents stuck in a dead-end marriage. Based on my own personal experience, I have another perspective. Having been raised by parents that chose to stay together in a miserable marriage, I opt in on the other side. For me, parental divorce is preferable to years of living in a home where parents fight, disrespect one another and children are surrounded by sadness and anger. That’s the world I grew up in and the scars are still with me today, many decades later. I believe that staying in a marriage only for the kids is a physical choice that doesn’t touch upon the emotional and psychological pain children endure when their parents

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Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Ef...

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Effective Parenting During Separation & Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I was quite impressed with an on-line video course created especially for divorcing and divorced or separated parents. Its child-centered approach and message aligns well with the teachings of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. The program is titled, Two Families Now. The Two Families Now parenting class helps parents lower their stress level and protect children from conflict during the family transition process. The class increases parents' knowledge and awareness of divorce-related factors that affect children. It also helps parents build new skills that will access critically needed social support to help buffer the impact of divorce on your children. As a parent you want to raise children with a healthy sense of self-worth. You want children who are trusting and trust-worthy -- who are open to creating loving relationships in their lives. I firmly believe it’s not divorce per se that emotionally scars children. It’s how

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How to Minimize the Negative Effects of ...

How to Minimize the Negative Effects of Divorce on Your Children
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Over the years there have been endless studies on the effects of divorce on parents and children. Some of the results are controversial. Others seem to be universally accepted as relevant and real. Here are some insights about how divorce affects children at different ages and stages that I believe all of us, as parents, should take to heart. Not surprisingly, the first two years of divorce are the most difficult. In some cases it takes an average of three to five years to really "work through" and resolve many of the issues and emotions that come to the surface. For some, the effects of divorce last many additional years -- or even a lifetime -- if not dealt with appropriately. Taking steps toward a child-centered divorce can dramatically impact the negative effects of divorce on all members of the family. It will help everyone to

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