Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – T

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parents Fighting Around Kids After Divorce So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off than their peers whose parents remained married.” Researchers have found two explanations for this, notes Bettelheim. “Children who have to cope with their parents’ separation and post-divorce

Child-Centered Divorce

6 Break the Divorce News to the Kids Messages for Divorcing Parents

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC The best approach to breaking the divorce news to your children! One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their children about their pending divorce. I know first-hand because many years ago I went through the experience. I fought and faced the overwhelming emotions. The deep gut-wrenching fear. The continuous anxiety. The incredible guilt. And the oppressive weight of shame. My son, after all, was innocent. A sweet, gentle soul who loved his father and mother dearly. He certainly did not deserve this. I struggled with the anxiety for weeks in advance. When should I tell him? How should I tell him? Should we tell him together? And most frightening of all, WHAT SHOULD WE SAY? How do you explain to a child that the life he has known, the comfort he has felt in his family

How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce?

What is International Child-Centered Divorce Month? ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, video programs, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorcing and divorced or separated parents throughout January. What is the purpose of ICCD Month? More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I chose January to commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month every year. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that

Child-Centered Divorce

Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor Parenting Choices Create All the Damage?

Rosalind Sedacca, CDC reveals the truth! Rosalind Sedacca, CDC More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why January is recognized as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. This year is our 10th Anniversary commemoration. I initiated ICCD Month as a Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce. Our goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. One of the most important questions I get asked by both clients and the media is: Does Divorce Really Scar Children? My answer is NO! It’s how parents approach the divorce that does the damage. Parental Conflict is behind most of the Negative Effects On Our children. And that’s both good news and bad news. The good news: Parents

Child-Centered Divorce

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By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month This year we commemorate the 10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month. In recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorced parents throughout January. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their purpose is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce. More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder

Child-Centered Divorce

Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Family – Hers, Mine and the Exes

My soon-to-be second wife and I are raising four children. With our wedding date quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to have a successful blended family, and how we deal with our exes for the good of our children. Out of the Mouths of Babes It’s 3:00 AM and I can’t sleep. I keep hearing the voices of our kids, over and over in my head. “Mommy is going to be mad if we stay up late.” “My dad lets me watch that show.” “She’s not our sister!” “I don’t want to come to the wedding.” That last one stings. We have four parents in this equation. All with different views on what’s best for our children. It can be stressful. It can be annoying. Ultimately our success is not judged by our personal comfort, but by the experience of our children. Here are some

Parenting After Divorce

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By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Moving through a divorce can seem like an insurmountable obstacle. But for parents, it is just the beginning of an even greater challenge: co-parenting your children together. As founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network I acknowledge all parents who have chosen to remain in your children’s lives as co-parents. You care deeply about your children and cooperative co-parenting is the way to raise them in the least-disruptive possible manner. The key word here is COOPERATION. Not all parents can share the parenting process in this way. For some couples, sadly, it should not even be attempted. Which is why those couples who are determined to co-parent – and choose to live relatively close to one another so as not to disturb the school, sports and other related schedules of their children – certainly deserve credit and acknowledgement. This is a complex topic that can’t be glossed

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

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Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For the Sake of the Kids – Or Divorce?

An Interview with Rosalind Sedacca, CDC I understand you are a child of parents who stayed in a bad marriage rather than getting a divorce. What was that like? My childhood was not a happy one. My parents were good people caught in a bad relationship. They fought continuously. I remember hearing them fighting while I was in bed. I felt helpless to fix the problem. My parents made all the mistakes that divorced parents can make and I ending up hurt in the same ways as children of divorce done wrong. You say there are emotional and psychological scars for children when parents stay together in a toxic marriage. Tell us about that. Children feel the tension, the anger and often they blame themselves thinking if only I got better grades or cleaned up my room, maybe mom and dad would stop fighting. They feel insecure and walk on

Child-Centered Divorce

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After Divorce: Choose Pro-Active vs. ReActive Parenting

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting is never easy. The challenges are enormous. Decisions are rarely black and white. How much should you indulge your children? When do you step in on sibling or friend-related battles? How much can you trust other parents watching your child for sleepovers and play dates? How tolerant should you be regarding food and eating issues? When should you step in with discipline? When are you crossing the line with punishment? The questions and decisions are infinite, emotionally challenging and hard to resolve. All of this is life as usual for parents in a traditional marriage. When you add the component of divorce to the mix, the waters are considerably more muddied. And many divorced parents find themselves in the position of questioning their true motives when faced with parenting decisions. What about you? Are your behaviors influenced by your feelings about your former spouse? Are

Parenting After Divorce

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Caring Parents Step Up!

By Rosalind Sedacca CDC Divorce, like life, is rarely neat and packaged. This is especially true for divorcing parents. The reality of divorce comes with unexpected twists, constant frustrations and times of utter helplessness when children act up or pull away. Here are three tips for coping with times when your children are venting, lashing out or expressing their own frustrations about being caught up in a family adjusting to separation or divorce. Diffusing blame. Some children, especially pre-teens and teens, may blame one parent or the other for the divorce. Sometimes they may be correct in this interpretation given circumstances they have been aware of for years (alcoholism, absent parent, domestic violence, etc.). Other times they side with one parent as a result of their prior relationship dynamics with that parent. Regardless of why you, or your spouse, are being blamed, keep your cool. In many cases blaming is

Child-Centered Divorce

Is It Parental Conflict – Or Divorce – T

6 Break the Divorce News to the Kids Mes...

Recognizing Child-Centered Divorce Month...

Does Divorce Scar Children – Or Do Poor

International Child-Centered Divorce Mon...

Child Centered Parenting in a Blended Fa...

Co-Parenting After Divorce: How To Make ...

Should I Stay In a Toxic Marriage For th...

After Divorce: Choose Pro-Active vs. ReA...

When Children of Divorce Act Out – Carin

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