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Child Centered Divorce
The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent
Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC
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Using Family Photos To Support And Prote...

Using Family Photos To Support And Protect Children of Divorce
Cooperative coparenting supports children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  I read a poignant comment on a blog recently written by a married mother of three. She was a child of divorce whose father moved out of the home when she was four. She talks about having very few pictures of herself as a child and only one of her mother and father together. Her grandfather found and gave her the photo just a few years ago. She framed it and has proudly displayed it in her home for her own children to see. She explains how special that one photo of her with Mom and Dad is to her. It shows a little girl sitting happily on a lawn with her “real” family – before the divorce. This woman grieves that she has no other photographs of her father and so few pictures of her childhood. She

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5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids Ab...

5 Pitfalls to Avoid When Telling Kids About Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Facing divorce and stymied about how to tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When’s the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What they will say? Not sure just what to confide?  Well, you’re not alone. There’s no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you’ll ever have. It’s a talk your children won’t want to have – and you must be prepared. Here are the five mistakes most commonly made by parents regarding the divorce talk. Be sure you don’t add stress to your children’s lives by making these errors. You'll find answers to the other questions on my blog at ChildCenteredDivorce.com.  1. Exposing your children to parental conflict or fighting. Studies show that this does more damage to children than any other factor in their lives – whether

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6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids ...

6 Ways To Boost Connection To Your Kids After Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is often a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them. This is equally important during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry on and a non-judgmental ear when they need it. This is true even if you are not physically together. If divorce has been tough on you – remember it’s even tougher on them – whether they confide that to you or not.

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How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Da...

How To Keep Kids From Sabotaging Your Dating After Divorce!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Dating after divorce can be challenging for many parents who have been out of the market for some time. But it’s even more challenging for your children. It’s only natural for them to be resistant to any new partner you bring into their lives. And sometimes they can be downright belligerent to keep you from dating post-divorce. No matter how much you love your kids, they can represent obstacles to your future love life. This is a reality whether your divorce was relatively painless or high conflict. As a parent you don’t want to create more emotional drama or trauma for your children. You want to protect them from unnecessary conflict and competition for your attention. When you introduce a new partner, especially one who may be a parental figure in the future, be prepared. It’s not surprising that kids will want to express their feelings,

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Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarri...

Divorced Parents: 6 Steps To Stop Scarring Your Kids!
Parenting after divorce takes insight By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Let’s face it, divorce impacts everyone in the family. But it doesn’t have to scar your children if you remember to put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial co-parenting decisions. Keep in mind that every decision you make regarding your divorce will affect the wellbeing of your children in a multitude of serious ways. Of course, the emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are 6 significant ways to avoid scarring or wounding your kids as you move through your divorce and transition into post-divorce co-parenting in the months and years ahead. 1)  Stop conflict and fighting around the kids!  Studies show time and again that it is conflict and tension around children that creates the most difficulties for them related to divorce. It’s not the

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2 Challenges Your Children Face During &

2 Challenges Your Children Face During & After Divorce
Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, it continues to impact your children. And they will  attempt to process that reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age, they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming

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What Children of Divorce Wish Their Pare...

What Children of Divorce Wish Their Parents Knew & Understood!
Children are deeply affected by divorce: do it right! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC  Children of divorce learn a lot from their parents. They pick up on feelings, both shared and hidden, as well as on spoken and unspoken messages. They watch their parents’ behavior and experience the consequences of the decisions and choices both parents make.  Most children can’t express what they’re seeing and learning, but they know what they feel. And they understand what it’s like to be confused, angry, hurt or afraid. If your child could tell you what it’s like to be in their shoes, you’d likely try to be more sensitive when talking to them or about them. Sadly, most children can’t put their feelings in words -- even teens. So, it’s up to parents who are facing divorce or parenting after divorce, to be especially empathic toward their children. What your

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Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, divorced co-parents often make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and behavior are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes as co-parents. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! We all have regrets … In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children

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Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Childre

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Children Start Parenting You!
Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents by parenting their parents, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent – or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent.

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Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conf...

Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conflicting Parental Lifestyles
Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach I often are sent questions from concerned parents. One recent question focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with one parent treating the children to lavish gifts and trips while the other parent is struggling financially. Mom was aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about their Dad. But she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this? Consider all the possibilities! It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown to me. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not

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