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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

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2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From Yo...

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From You After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the greatest challenges divorced parents face is adequately meeting their children’s needs during and after the divorce. While most parents pay lip service to focusing on the wellbeing of the children, sadly that’s not always the case. Divorcing and divorced parents can become overwhelmed by the emotional upheaval they are experiencing, especially if they don’t chose a positive divorce platform. After marinating in the anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, shame, blame and other conflicting emotions for so long, some lose their capacity to empathize with what their children are going through. Or they just stop caring. Other parents need parenting themselves. They  don’t have the ability to put their own needs aside to address the turmoil they see in their children. More than ever before co-parents need to feel and show compassion for their children. So  often kids are feeling frightened, confused, guilty, angry, ashamed

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5 Ways To Ease Kids’ Divorce Transition

5 Ways To Ease Kids’ Divorce Transition Between Homes
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges Parenting plans and contact schedules are an important part of divorce proceedings. They help create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life for divorcing parents. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But not all couples can work together with civility and harmony. So sometimes parallel parenting becomes the plan, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between one another. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave maturely and responsibly.   However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the day-to-day challenges of post-divorce life that puts all co-parents to the test. Here are

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Success Strategies for Effective Post-Di...

Success Strategies for Effective Post-Divorce Parent-Child Communication
Parent-child communication after divorce really matters. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a divorced parent faces is maintaining good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you may not have experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most professionals agree are good ways to encourage positive and productive post-divorce communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or natural behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten or overlooked amid

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Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put D

Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put Down the Boxing Gloves
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorced parents let the negative emotions they're feeling toward their former spouses - hatred, hurt, disappointment, guilt, shame, anxiety, frustration, mistrust and more - influence their decisions about child-custody issues, they are sabotaging their children. It is selfish, insensitive and extremely unproductive to let your personal vendetta determine the relationship your children have with their other parent – and extended family on both sides. Throughout the U.S. and the world divorce professionals are talking about proposed changes to child custody legislation. Investigative committees are being formed and new legislation is being considered about whether shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents. While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting - it worked very successfully for me - I do not believe it's the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes

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Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For...

Bashing Your Ex Has Bad Consequences For Children Of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all do it from time to time. Make a sarcastic comment about our ex, criticize something they did or didn’t do, gesture or grimace our faces when referring to our former spouse. When we do it in front of, near or within hearing distance of our children, we set ourselves up for a hornet’s nest of problems. We have all heard this, but it’s easy to forget or let slide. It hurts our children when they hear one of their parents put down the other. This is so even if your child does not say anything about it. With rare exceptions, children innately feel they are part of both parents. They love them both even when that love isn’t returned to them in the same way. When you put down their other parent your children are likely to interpret it as a put-down of part

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Divorce Books Helpful For Children of Di...

Divorce Books Helpful For Children of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know that divorce is one of the most traumatic events that can happen in a child’s life. Many people have written books on the subject to guide parents through the maze of challenges that are inevitable at this time. However, it is much more difficult communicating with children directly about divorce. There are a few books on the market written especially for children. None of them are one size fits all. So parents must read through each one to determine which book speaks most clearly to their own family situation. The age and gender of the children, relationship between the divorced parents, custodial agreements and other factors all influence how effective any one children’s book will be for any family. Karen Stanton has written and illustrated a new book: Monday, Wednesday And Every Other Weekend. It’s a gentle and accessible story about dealing with

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Why YOU Should Resolve Child-Related Di...

Why YOU Should Resolve  Child-Related Divorce Disputes – Not a Judge!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Family-focused divorce attorney Larry Sarezky is passionate about keeping parents out of court when handling disputes over child custody. Based on decades of experience Larry knows that long-term outcomes work out better when the decisions are made by the parents themselves rather than left to the legal system. Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Except for circumstances where children are at risk, Larry strongly emphasizes that parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interests. Larry’s message: If you are unable to resolve children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will. There are some very good reasons to avoid that: The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm. Custody cases are tremendously expensive. Parents must not only pay their own

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Depression In Children of Divorce – How

Depression In Children of Divorce – How Parents Can Help
Divorce hard for children By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce has many effects on children. No two children will react in exactly the same way. That’s why parents need to be diligent about watching for signs and indications that your child may be having problems coping with their new reality. Depression is one of the more common reactions we see in children of divorce. Unfortunately, many parents entirely miss or misinterpret the signs of depression. It can take many forms including behavior that is distancing, lethargic and withdrawn. This is often accompanied by a drop in school grades. But depression can also show in other ways, such as agitation, frustration and aggression. When depression takes that form, parents are likely to think of it in terms of discipline problems and respond with punishment. It takes maturity and a broader perspective to stand back and realize that your

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Is It Divorce – Or Parental Conflict – T

Is It Divorce – Or Parental Conflict – That Most Damages Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce catches kids in the middle So often I am asked: Is it divorce or parental discord that most damages children? More and more evidence points at the attitude of the parents being most influential on the outcome for innocent children. Many studies I've read about over the past decade all come to the agreement that children are more negatively impacted by parental conflict than by divorce itself.  Numerous articles by marriage and family therapist Ruth Bettelheim address this topic in ways that are both relevant and, quite surprising for many. That’s because she refutes common misconceptions about divorce and addresses the real issues of concern. According to Bettelheim, “Studies conducted in the past 20 years have shown that on all meaningful measures of success -- social, economic, intellectual and psychological -- most adult children from divorced families are no worse off

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Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You...

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You Want Your Kids To Be
By Rosalind Sedacca I recently came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” Basically that’s the best advice anyone can give any parent. It’s especially relevant when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. It’s estimated that 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all children or all families. That’s why it’s so important for parents facing divorce to understand that every decision you make has consequences that affect your children as well as your own well-being for years and decades to come. As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’ve found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don’t understand that emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years

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