children of divorce Archives - Page 2 of 5

What Children of Divorce Wish Their Pare...

Children are deeply affected by divorce: do it right! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children of divorce learn a lot from their parents. They pick up on feelings, both shared and hidden, as well as on spoken and unspoken messages. They watch their parents’ behavior and experience the consequences of the decisions and choices both parents make. Most children can’t express what they’re seeing and learning, but they know what they feel. And they understand what it’s like to be confused, angry, hurt or afraid. If your child could tell you what it’s like to be in their shoes, you’d likely try to be more sensitive when talking to them or about them. Sadly, most children can’t put their feelings in words -- even teens. So, it’s up to parents who are facing divorce or parenting after divorce, to be especially empathic toward their children. What your

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, divorced co-parents often make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and behavior are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes as co-parents. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! We all have regrets … In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Children Start Parenting You!

Divorce catches kids in the middle By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents by parenting their parents, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair. Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent – or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent.

Parenting After Divorce

Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conflicting Parental Lifestyles

Child Caught Between Divorced Parents By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach I often are sent questions from concerned parents. One recent question focused on an issue that many divorced parents face with mounting frustration. It had to do with one parent treating the children to lavish gifts and trips while the other parent is struggling financially. Mom was aware that she shouldn’t say anything negative to her children about their Dad. But she was finding it difficult in the face of her circumstances. The question, of course, was what can she do about this? Consider all the possibilities! It’s impossible to provide a specific answer when the so many of the circumstances are unknown to me. How often is Dad seeing the children? What kind of relationship does he have with them when he is not there? Is he angry about not

Parenting After Divorce

5 Ways To Keep Divorce From Scarring Your Kids!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce need not wound and scar your children if you put their emotional and psychological needs first when making crucial decisions. Some parents don’t understand that every decision they make regarding their divorce will affect the wellbeing of their children in countless ways. The emotional scars are not only harder to see, they’re also much harder to erase. Here are five keys to helping your children move through and thrive after divorce. Remind them this is not their fault. Children tend to blame themselves for divorce, no matter how bad their parents’ relationship has been. The younger the child, the more likely this is so. But even teens feel guilt related to the divorce. Sit down together and talk to your children, emphasizing that they are in no way at fault. You can say something like: “As your parents we’re having problems getting along and agreeing

Parenting After Divorce

6 Key Questions When Children of Divorce Resist Their Other Parent

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce is always challenging, especially when your children act out. One big issue is handling children if they resist spending time with their other parent. Many factors come into play. Here are 6 crucial questions to ask yourself which can help you determine the source of the problem and understand the reasons why your children are resisting contact with their other parent. Are they feeling guilty or disloyal about leaving your presence? This can easily influence how they react to visits or time away living with their other parent. Have they been privy to information, slurs or other comments that make them dislike their other parent? Do they hear you complain about that parent to family or friends? Are they being raised in an environment hostile towards that parent? Has their other parent been mistreating them or disciplining them in a different way than

Parenting After Divorce

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From You After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC One of the greatest challenges divorced parents face is adequately meeting their children’s needs during and after the divorce. While most parents pay lip service to focusing on the wellbeing of the children, sadly that’s not always the case. Divorcing and divorced parents can become overwhelmed by the emotional upheaval they are experiencing, especially if they don’t chose a positive divorce platform. After marinating in the anger, hurt, resentment, guilt, shame, blame and other conflicting emotions for so long, some lose their capacity to empathize with what their children are going through. Or they just stop caring. Other parents need parenting themselves. They don’t have the ability to put their own needs aside to address the turmoil they see in their children. More than ever before co-parents need to feel and show compassion for their children. So often kids are feeling frightened, confused, guilty, angry, ashamed

Parenting After Divorce

5 Ways To Ease Kids’ Divorce Transition Between Homes

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges Parenting plans and contact schedules are an important part of divorce proceedings. They help create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life for divorcing parents. I am a strong believer in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children. But not all couples can work together with civility and harmony. So sometimes parallel parenting becomes the plan, meaning you both parent the children but with minimum communication between one another. Keep in mind that your kids pick up on the emotional energy around their parents and life after divorce is smoother and easier for them when their parents behave maturely and responsibly. However you work out your shared parenting plan, it’s the day-to-day challenges of post-divorce life that puts all co-parents to the test. Here are

Parenting After Divorce

Success Strategies for Effective Post-Divorce Parent-Child Communication

Parent-child communication after divorce really matters. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC It’s no secret that one of the biggest challenges a divorced parent faces is maintaining good communication with your children. Obviously all parents struggle with communication issues as their children grow, but children who have had their lives dramatically altered by separation or divorce need even more attention – and diligent observation by their parents. Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead they reflect their problems through their behavior – acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you may not have experienced prior to the divorce. Here are some tips that most professionals agree are good ways to encourage positive and productive post-divorce communication between you and your children. Many of these are obvious or natural behaviors. Some can easily be forgotten or overlooked amid

Parenting After Divorce

Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put Down the Boxing Gloves

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC When divorced parents let the negative emotions they're feeling toward their former spouses - hatred, hurt, disappointment, guilt, shame, anxiety, frustration, mistrust and more - influence their decisions about child-custody issues, they are sabotaging their children. It is selfish, insensitive and extremely unproductive to let your personal vendetta determine the relationship your children have with their other parent – and extended family on both sides. Throughout the U.S. and the world divorce professionals are talking about proposed changes to child custody legislation. Investigative committees are being formed and new legislation is being considered about whether shared parenting may be the best custodial situation for all children of divorcing parents. While I am a strong advocate of shared parenting - it worked very successfully for me - I do not believe it's the right or only answer for everyone. Because every situation is different when it comes

Child-Centered Divorce

What Children of Divorce Wish Their Pare...

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regr...

Divorced Parents: Don’t Let Your Childre

Children Of Divorce Are Affected By Conf...

5 Ways To Keep Divorce From Scarring You...

6 Key Questions When Children of Divorce...

2 Crucial Gifts Your Child Needs From Yo...

5 Ways To Ease Kids’ Divorce Transition

Success Strategies for Effective Post-Di...

Shared Parenting & Child Custody – Put D

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