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Why You Must Let Go of Grudges After You...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Gandhi Anger-Conflict Programs for Co-Parenting & Other Life Challenges Divorce can be a major stumbling block to our happiness and personal growth. Holding grudges and resentments have proven to be harmful to your physical health and emotional wellbeing. Forgiveness is a productive way to move forward, detach from the past and let go of lingering hurts so you can experience a healthier, more promising future. It is not uncommon to resent the people closest to us because they have often done us some harm such as violating our trust through a lie, betrayal, deceit or abuse. However, resentment comes at a big cost to you. When you can’t let go of hurt and anger, it builds into a resentment or grudge. That feeling can take hold of you growing to

Relationship Advice

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting Mistakes To Avoid!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, change some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their other parent! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to

Parenting After Divorce

Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs During Divorce and Beyond

When parents are caught up in the drama of divorce it is easy for them to forget the innate emotional and security needs of their innocent children. The following are a list of questions and comments that remind parents about the most fundamental needs of every child in order to experience psychological wellbeing. They are provided by Dr. Paul Wanio, one of the contributors to my internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? These concepts are particularly significant for your consideration when your family is experiencing the challenges and upheavals connected to divorce or separation. With this in mind, Dr. Wanio suggests you not only consider these questions, but actually take the time to answer them for yourself. 1) How can I help my child to develop a sense of security and trust in him/herself, in people, in the world, and in getting his/her needs

Parenting After Divorce

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are You Protecting Your Children?

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And while the divorce rate has gone down the past few years, because of the economy, January is still the month with the highest divorce rate. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are divorcing parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a

Parenting After Divorce

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

Parenting After Divorce

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The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce Parenting!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, adjust some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their Dad! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to set

Parenting After Divorce

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Study Shows Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For years I’ve been pointing out to parents that fighting around the children does more damage to them than their divorce. When parents handle divorce amicably and put their children’s psychological needs foremost when making all decisions, serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided. Now a study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence confirms this perspective. While the focus on this study is on fighting over financial issues, the consequences are basically the same: damage to the children’s well-being. The study shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly the study revealed that among parents who were dealing with "money-related chronic stress," relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Is the tension related to

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Children

Parenting Coordinator and trainer Ann Marie Termini, co-founder of the Cooperative Parenting Institute, has put together a set of rules that every divorced parent should take to heart. That’s because it comes from the heart of children like yours. While kids can’t adequately express themselves, these are the messages they want to share with you. Read them over on a daily basis until they are deeply entrenched in your mind and psyche. Before making important decisions that affect the well-being of your children during and after divorce, even many years after, refer to this list. Make sure you are not compromising their boundaries or putting them in awkward situations to appease your own needs, agenda and judgments about your former spouse – who is their other parent. With this list of rules in mind you will parent more effectively, earn your children’s life-long respect and give your kids the best

Child-Centered Divorce, Parenting After Divorce

The ninth International Child-Centered Divorce Month is being commemorated once again in January. The entire month is devoted to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – especially the impact of parental decisions on their children’s well-being during and long after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world are providing free gifts to parents that offer advice and insights to help them best cope with divorce and parenting issues. Our Family Wizard, an online resource providing shared custody calendars and visitation schedules for co-parents, has stepped up to sponsor ICCD Month activities. More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, chose January to commemorate ICCD Month each year. The goal is to educate parents about how

Child-Centered Divorce

Two Challenges Children Face During and After Your Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, your children continue to process the reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize a divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming themselves for the divorce – even after it’s over! Regardless of what their parents may

Parenting After Divorce

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Why You Must Let Go of Grudges After You...

Divorced Parents’ 10 Biggest Parenting M

Understanding Children’s Emotional Needs

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce P...

Study Shows Children Are Psychologically...

Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Chil...

January is International Child-Centered ...

Two Challenges Children Face During and ...

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