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Child Centered Divorce

The caring support you need if you're a parent who's facing ... going through ... or moving on after divorce!
  - Divorce and Co-Parenting
  - Parenting Children of Divorce
  - Dating as a Divorced Parent

Created by Rosalind Sedacca, CDC


New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are Y

New Year … New Divorce Challenges. Are You Protecting Your Children?
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Statistics bear it out. Every January the number of couples filing for divorce rises dramatically. And while the divorce rate has gone down the past few years, because of the economy, January is still the month with the highest divorce rate. When you think about it, the reason comes as no surprise. Many couples considering splitting decide to wait until after the holidays to break the news to their children. Others wait to take advantage of year-end job bonuses, if they come, so they’ll have the extra funds to cover attorney, moving and other related expenses. Regardless, it’s not the why that should be concerning us at this time – it’s the how. How are divorcing parents going to approach their separation or divorce – and how will it affect their innocent children? I, too, planned my separation at this time of year more than a

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Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Depen...

Co-Parenting Success After Divorce Dependent on Wise Decisions
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT If you’re a parent, divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your former spouse. It only changes the form in some specific ways. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent’s boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way,

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The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce P...

The 9 Biggest Mistakes in Post-Divorce Parenting!
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Some parents think once they are divorced and most of the decisions have been made, the worst is behind them. Unfortunately, parenting after divorce is a week by week experience. Your success depends on the decisions you make, your attitude toward your situation and your compassion for your innocent children. You may have heard it all before, but smart parents quiz themselves regularly to see if they are not falling into some of the traps of destructive post-divorce parenting. If you find yourself making any of these mistakes, it’s never too late to make amends. You may have to alter decisions, adjust some behaviors, give yourself an attitude adjustment and even apologize to your children – or to their Dad! Keep in mind, we all make mistakes that we regret. It’s part of the learning process – especially when we’re parents. It’s far better to set

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Study Shows Children Are Psychologically...

Study Shows Children Are Psychologically Damaged When Parents Fight
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT For years I’ve been pointing out to parents that fighting around the children does more damage to them than their divorce. When parents handle divorce amicably and put their children’s psychological needs foremost when making all decisions, serious emotional harm to the kids is avoided. Now a study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence confirms this perspective. While the focus on this study is on fighting over financial issues, the consequences are basically the same: damage to the children’s well-being. The study shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Not surprisingly the study revealed that among parents who were dealing with "money-related chronic stress," relationships with their children were highly tense and lacking in intimacy. Is the tension related to

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Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Chil...

Divorce Rules For Parents From Your Children
Parenting Coordinator and trainer Ann Marie Termini, co-founder of the Cooperative Parenting Institute, has put together a set of rules that every divorced parent should take to heart. That’s because it comes from the heart of children like yours. While kids can’t adequately express themselves, these are the messages they want to share with you.  Read them over on a daily basis until they are deeply entrenched in your mind and psyche. Before making important decisions that affect the well-being of your children during and after divorce, even many years after, refer to this list. Make sure you are not compromising their boundaries or putting them in awkward situations to appease your own needs, agenda and judgments about your former spouse – who is their other parent.  With this list of rules in mind you will parent more effectively, earn your children’s life-long respect and give your kids the best

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January is International Child-Centered ...

January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month  offering free ebooks, coaching, audio programs and more for parents coping with divorce!
The ninth International Child-Centered Divorce Month is being commemorated once again in January. The entire month is devoted to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – especially the impact of parental decisions on their children’s well-being during and long after a divorce. Divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world are providing free gifts to parents that offer advice and insights to help them best cope with divorce and parenting issues. Our Family Wizard, an online resource providing shared custody calendars and visitation schedules for co-parents, has stepped up to sponsor ICCD Month activities. More divorces are filed in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why Rosalind Sedacca, Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, chose January to commemorate ICCD Month each year. The goal is to educate parents about how

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Two Challenges Children Face During and ...

Two Challenges Children Face During and After Your Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Whether your divorce is pending or five years behind you, your children continue to process the reality according to their age and level of understanding. There are several concepts that cause the most emotional turmoil for children. Being aware of these sensitive areas can help parents address these issues more effectively. As your children age they may revisit your divorce with more questions, confusion or insecurity. That’s why it’s essential that you have answers ready based on a keen understanding of how children internalize a divorce – even long after it’s over. There are two major concepts that can create the most emotional pain for children. The first has to do with blame and the second with unrealistic expectations. Here are some suggestions for handling these common challenges. Children keep blaming themselves for the divorce – even after it’s over! Regardless of what their parents may

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Emotional Effects of Conflict on Childre...

Emotional Effects of Conflict on Children of Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Fighting around the children does more damage to them than divorce itself. A study published in the Journal of Research on Adolescence* shows that children exposed to constant parental bickering are more likely to be depressed. They are also more prone to expressing other “problem behaviors,” including substance abuse, aggression and poor school grades. Never battle where kids can see or hear you. Little ears can pick up phone conversations as well as conflict behind closed bedroom doors. Parents often don't think about the psychological impact of their arguments on children. It changes who they are and how they feel about themselves and life in general. Never lie or play one parent off the other to win your child’s favors. Telling lies about, bashing or demeaning your former spouse confuses, hurts and angers children in serious ways. Keep personal resentments personal and don’t use your kids

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Divorcing Parents – Protect Your Childre

Divorcing Parents – Protect Your Children by Avoiding Court Litigation
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT When famous celebrities like Mel Gibson, Denise Richards, Halle Berry and others battle through a divorce, the stakes are high. Millions of dollars are often in contention, blurring issues related to child-custody and visitation. These couples hire killer attorneys and commit to paying an enormous price -- which includes not only hefty legal fees, but a tremendous time expenditure and emotional toll. Too many non-celebrity couples facing divorce blindly choose this same path – often without considering the reality of all the costs involved. They do not have the revenue to maintain ongoing litigation in the courts. Nor do they have a game plan for putting together the pieces of their shattered family after the legal battles are finally over. Sadly they come to realize that celebrities are usually poor role models. They don’t necessarily make the wisest decisions regarding their children’s best interest as they

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Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You...

Divorcing Parents: Be the Role Model You Want Your Kids To Be
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT  I recently came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: “Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.” Basically that’s the best advice anyone can give any parent. It’s especially so when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. It’s estimated that 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all children or all families. That’s why it’s so important for parents facing divorce to understand that every decision they make has consequences that affect their children as well as their own well-being for years and decades to come. As a Divorce & Parenting Coach I’ve found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don’t understand that emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the

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