divorce and children Archives - Page 3 of 6

Two Families Now: Video Class Teaches Ef...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT I was quite impressed with an on-line video course created especially for divorcing and divorced or separated parents. Its child-centered approach and message aligns well with the teachings of the Child-Centered Divorce Network. The program is titled, Two Families Now. The Two Families Now parenting class helps parents lower their stress level and protect children from conflict during the family transition process. The class increases parents' knowledge and awareness of divorce-related factors that affect children. It also helps parents build new skills that will access critically needed social support to help buffer the impact of divorce on your children. As a parent you want to raise children with a healthy sense of self-worth. You want children who are trusting and trust-worthy -- who are open to creating loving relationships in their lives. I firmly believe it’s not divorce per se that emotionally scars children. It’s how

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorce Is Tough -- Even Tougher on Teens! By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce is tough on families. Everyone is affected, especially the children. In most cases, the older the children, the more complex the reaction and more difficult the adaptation. There are many reasons why. Older children have a longer history in the former family unit, regardless of how healthy or toxic it has been. Perhaps they remember better times when Mom and Dad interacted with them and each other with more joy and harmony. Even if there were no good times to look back upon, older children were accustomed to the existing family dynamic, knew their place in the structure, and felt a sense of comfort in "what is. Resisting change is a natural part of being human. For teenagers that resistance is compounded by a tendency to test boundaries and rock the status quo. Divorce or

Parenting After Divorce

1 Comment

10 Tips For Divorced Dads Raising Daughters

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW A girl stands a better chance of becoming a self-confident woman if she has a close bond with her father. A daughter’s sense of self, for instance, is often connected to how her father views her. In fact, studies show that a father’s effect on his daughter’s psychological well-being and identity is far-reaching. Research has shown that fathers play an important role in the lives of their daughters but that this relationship is the one that changes the most after divorce. While most daughters of divorce are well adjusted several years after their parents’ divorce, many have damaged relationships with their fathers. Unfortunately, if the wound is severe, a girl may grow into adulthood with low self-esteem and trust issues. What girls and women need is a loving, predictable father figure – whether or not her parents are married, single, or divorced. The following statistics

Parenting After Divorce

3 Comments

Be Alert to Signs of Parental Alienation After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT April 25th is the annual recognition of Parental Alienation Awareness Day. It is a time for all divorced parents to reflect on their relationship with their former spouse and how it may be subtly or overtly affecting the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. Often we rationalize our actions and decisions regarding our Ex as justified but don't focus on how it impacts our innocent children who usually are quite attached to getting love and support from both parents. One behavior commonly overlooked as a very hurtful aspect of Parental Alienation involves one parent keeping the other, target parent, from contact with the children – as punishment. Threatening To Keep Your Ex From the Kids Divorced parents can quickly learn ways to abuse their power over the other parent by using the children as a lever. Among the most harmful of these types of manipulations

Parenting After Divorce

Tips for Re-bonding with Children for Parents Alienated After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Children can easily and subtly be influenced by both parents during and after divorce. Sometimes the influence is intentional. Other times parents may not be aware of how they are manipulating their children’s affection and allegiance toward themselves and away from their other parent. Either way, the damage for children can be significant, especially in regards to maintaining a loving connection with both parents when the divorce is over. Here’s some sound advice for parents who feel targeted for alienation and want to re-establish or keep a healthy parent-child relationship: Keep in contact with your children in every possible way. Use video, texts, email and other technology to stay in touch, even on the most basic level. Maintain your personal power regarding scheduling activities and contact with the children. Don’t passively enable your kids or your ex to dictate terms and conditions. Create fun times worth

Parenting After Divorce

Divorced Parents: Made Mistakes You Regret? It’s Not Too Late To Make It Right!

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT Divorce drives some people crazy. Because of that, they make many poor decisions. Their judgment, integrity and credibility are easy to question. Their decisions regarding taking responsibility for their children come under scrutiny. There is much we can all learn from these mistakes. And wisdom we can take away that is important for all of us to remember: It’s never too late to get it right – when your children are at stake! In the heat of the divorce drama, we may have settled for a decision or two that we later regretted and still feel resentful. Or we made a child-related agreement that, in hindsight, was not in our child’s best interest – but we don’t know quite how to remedy the situation. Perhaps we lost our tempers at an inappropriate time and watched our children painfully internalize the experience. Maybe we referred to our

Parenting After Divorce

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. The entire month is dedicated to helping parents minimize the negative effects of divorce on children – by giving them the tools and resources they need to support their kids during and long after a divorce. Throughout January divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, parenting experts and other professionals around the world will be providing complimentary gifts offering advice and insights to help parents best cope with divorce and parenting issues. More divorces are initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why the Child-Centered Divorce Network chose January to commemorate ICCD Month every year. The goal is to educate parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children during and after separation or divorce. At the special website, parents can access free ebooks, coaching services, videos, audio programs and other valuable gifts by

Child-Centered Divorce

Divorced Parent to Parent Transfers: How to Minimize Stress for Your Child

For children of divorce moving between homes is stressful enough without the transfers themselves being upsetting. There are many ways in which parents can turn simple transfers into real nightmares. If your transfers are unnecessarily stressful following these tips for minimizing your child’s parent-to-parent transfer: General Tips Keep your child’s transfer as brief as possible even if your child attempts to delay by trying to engage you in an activity with them. Say “hello” and “goodbye” to the other parent even if they do not speak to you. Your child needs to see that you are reasonable and civil in spite of the other parent’s action. Simple salutations only should occur at transfers. This is not the time for discussions. If the other parent attempts to start a discussion just say, “I’d like to speak with you regarding that but now isn’t the time. Give me a call or email

Parenting After Divorce

Should Divorced Dads Get Equal Custody? Let the Battle Begin …

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT More than ever before, divorce is making news. Much of it is due to changing legislation in many nations and several states within the U.S. regarding issues such as custody. In the past five years there have also been major shifts in our perceptions about divorce and the emergence of new alternatives that can simplify and reduce the time and cost involved in divorce proceedings. Consequently, society is talking more and caring more about divorce than ever before in history. This, I believe, is very good because with discussion comes awareness of the many complex challenges that surround divorce. This includes the many weaknesses and inequities in our divorce-related legal systems and the long-term consequences of poor decision-making as couples attempt to transition through the divorce maze. A while back Parade Magazine, the Sunday supplement magazine that comes with newspapers in many large cities around the

Child-Centered Divorce