Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Children tend not to tell you when they are angry, resentful, confused, hurt or depressed. Instead, they reflect their problems through their behavior - acting out or perhaps turning inward in ways that you have not experienced prior to the divorce. Check out these tips for seeing the world through your child's eyes and communicating effectively with them during and after divorce: 1. Asking why can be intimidating and close off your conversation. Instead, ask what happened questions, which keep the dialogue open. 2. Be patient. Don't react or respond until you get the full message. Sometimes it takes some meandering for your child to reach the crucial point of what they want to say. Don't shut them off too soon! 3. Remember that preaching, moralizing or "parenting" comments can put up barriers to clear communication. Listening is your most valuable skill and tool. 4. Watch

Parenting After Divorce

Leave a Comment

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You To Be!

By Rosalind Sedacca I came upon this quote from British blogger, David Bly: "Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be." That's the best advice anyone can give any parent, especially when faced with challenging times, such as your divorce. About 40% of our children will experience the divorce of their parents. The outcome is not the same for all families. That's why it's so important for parents to understand that every decision they make has consequences. And these consequences not only affect their children. They also impact their own well-being for years and decades to come! As a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach, I've found that many parents are short-sighted when it comes to understanding the effects of divorce on their children. They don't understand how emotional wounds in childhood lead to behaviors in the teen years. And that decisions in adulthood are

Parenting After Divorce

Divorce changes the shape of a family, but it never changes a child’s need for love, safety, and steady support from both parents. Even after the court dates are over, you are still tied together through school drop-offs, sick days, birthdays, and everyday decisions that quietly shape your child’s world. The way you speak to each other in these moments matters more than you might think. A calm word can bring reassurance. A tense exchange can linger long after it ends. Over the years, I have seen how small changes in tone and mindset can ease tension at home and help children feel secure. These simple shifts form the heart of healthy, successful co-parenting communication. Keep the Focus Where It Belongs When conversations drift into old marital arguments, children pay the emotional price. I remind parents often that co-parenting is not about settling personal scores. It is about making thoughtful

Parenting After Divorce

Blended Family Success Strategies For Parents & Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC There are twenty million blended families in the United States alone. That number has doubled over the past ten years. Some project that blended families will become the norm, or at least a majority, within the next decade. Regardless of the statistics, blended families are a growing reality in our society. They also face challenges that can be overwhelming if not handled with great awareness and sensitivity for all concerned. Whether you're a step-parent, step-child or step-sibling, you face issues that other families do not encounter. Here are some suggestions for avoiding problems and tension within your family unit. · Don't expect to be the Brady Bunch right from the start. Allow your family members time to adjust to a new reality and new people sharing the same space. · Discuss family rules and rituals before you make the move into one home. Set agreements and

Parenting After Divorce

Dating After Divorce: Use Caution When Telling Your Kids!

Attentive communication with your child is essential. By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC We all know divorce creates havoc in any family's life, especially when children are involved. Moving on after divorce can also be challenging. It's a time to be very gentle, both with yourself as well as with your children. Chances are, you made a considerable emotional investment in your marriage. Having seen that relationship end can make you insecure about facing new relationships ahead. So take the time to go within, learn from your mistakes, and understand the lessons from your marriage. That will help you determine new ways to approach future relationships. In time you will feel ready to step back out into the dating world again. Then you face the challenge of breaking the news to your children. Be Mindful, Sensitive and Empathic! Of course the age of your children will play a

Parenting After Divorce

Consistent Co-parenting Is a Blessing For Children of Divorce

Pets help children cope with divorce By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Parenting after divorce takes patience, cooperation and collaboration. It's not uncommon for one parent to notice behavior differences in their children when they return from a stay with their other parent. This can be extremely frustrating or irritating, especially if your values and parenting style doesn't match that of your former spouse. What can you do to remedy the situation? Try having a conversation about how inconsistencies affect your children after divorce - and see if you can come to some mutual agreements. Consistency eases post-divorce adjustment Consistency in parenting creates the smoothest transition after divorce - and in the years that follow. If the rules previously established in your home are still followed by both parents after the divorce, the children are likely to more easily adjust to the new transitions in their life. In

Parenting After Divorce

Your Co-Parenting Success Depends On Making Smart Choices

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC Divorce doesn't end your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. It only changes some of the structure. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success. Respect your co-parent's boundaries: Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent's life. If the kids aren't in harm's way, let go and focus on

Parenting After Divorce

Using Your Children As Spies Post-Divorce: Don’t Do It!

Probing and pressuring can be abusive when you cross the line By Rosalind Sedacca Following divorce it's tempting to turn your children into "spies." Don't go there! When children are told to report on the activities of the other parent, it places the children in a no-win situation. Even worse, using your children as spies has other negative consequences. It promotes lying and deceit. Not surprisingly, encouraging spying also leads to picking sides. And it often creates loyalty conflicts for your children. As a result, your kids may clam up, become untruthful, or untrustworthy. Not surprisingly, it's not easy to break the habit of inappropriately questioning your children after they return from time spent with their other parent. However, it must be done. It helps to think about it from your child's perspective. How do your kids feel when transitioning from one home to the other?

Parenting After Divorce

5 Ways to Ease Post-Divorce Between-Home Transitions for Your Kids

By Rosalind Sedacca, CDC During divorce proceedings, parenting plans or contact schedules are usually established to create a semblance of routine in this new chapter of family life. Easing the post-divorce between-home transitions is a crucial factor. I strongly believe in co-parenting whenever possible to serve the best interest of your children, It’s the reality of daily life experiences that puts everyone to the test. Here are 5 helpful ways to improve the process for everyone involved. Be patient with one another. Starting any new schedule in life is never easy. Chances are the between-homes transition will present a number of challenges for you as you adapt to the many responsibilities involved. At the same time, think about the challenges for your children who never signed on for this. Be especially empathic with them if they express frustration, anger and resentment at first. Also allow your children time to adjust

Parenting After Divorce

Clear Parent/Child Communication Essenti...

Protecting Children Starts with Accounta...

Divorced? Be What Your Children Want You...

The Core Rules of Respectful Co-Parentin...

Blended Family Success Strategies For Pa...

Dating After Divorce: Use Caution When T...

Consistent Co-parenting Is a Blessing Fo...

Your Co-Parenting Success Depends On Mak...

Using Your Children As Spies Post-Divorc...

5 Ways to Ease Post-Divorce Between-Home...

Blog Posts by Date (Archives)

Categories